This must look so weird if you don’t speak Dutch
Honestly she’s just saying ‘mummy this one this one this one please’
i aM PISSING MYSELF
(via slowpoketales)
Source: voxify
Argument I heard on the bus
- Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
Source: swimminginstarlightskies
IM NOT EVEN TALKING TO ANYONE!!!
does your religion even allow tumblr or whatever?
yes but i DO know that my religion doesn’t allow me to whoop bitches lame 2nd rate asses if they fuck w me and i think u fuckin wit me boy ima take u down town mecca get u trampled over by a couple thousand of us
(via likeanamerrickan)
Source: whiteboywaves
I’m laughing so hard at the border sign differences between Canada and the U.S
First we have Canada that’s pretty okay, yeah greeting us in French as well! Thank!
And then we have America…
Jesus..
it’s like the whole country is a fucking theme park
(via likeanamerrickan)
Source: sallymon
i’m going to be SO FAMOUS
you sound more like karkat jesus christ omf
I’M GOING TO PISSS HELP ME OMFG
IM NOT EVEN IN HOMESTUCK AND THIS WAS HILARIOUS
this is the best thing
(via solluxcraptor)
Source: niknak79
- Mom: If you were going to kill someone, what weapon would you choose?
- Me: A dull knife.
- Dad: Why a dull knife?
- Me: You want to really mess someone up and make it painful? Use a dull knife. Sure, it's going to take a bit more effort, but it isn't going to cut. It's going to rip. It'll be painful, and if they survive the healing process will be a lot more difficult and painful. A dull knife expresses more anger than a sharp knife. A sharp knife is kind of the nice guy murdering tool, but if I'm going to kill someone I'm going to assume that I have finally snapped so I'd go for something painful and vicious.
- Mom: We've raised a potential serial killer.
- Dad: I don't know about you, but I'm proud of the amount of thought that went into that.
Source: cockteaseofthelord
Page 1 of 236